Friday the 13th

Boring routine without any hint of innovation of the genre. (26.04.2009)

So, how did the new Friday the 13th do from the point of view of a guy who hasn’t seen most of the original episodes because, paradoxically, he had got bored of the 1980s slashers even before he got to this fundamental franchise? Well, although I have no logical need to be outraged by the “desecration” of well-loved characters, I can’t say this film was a particularly nice horror experience. It is an example of the sad fact that modern remakes are either identical copies of the original or duds that, if it wasn’t for the profit a “well known brand”, could bear completely different names (something even I realised, even though I can’t really remember which Friday I actually saw, and when). But even as an impartial viewer, Nispel’s Friday the 13th is nothing but an ordinary teenage slasher (in the worst sense), the kind there are many of and, unfortunately, many more will probably follow after this one’s success in the USA – an idea that makes me feel a bit sick. I honestly liked the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the least I expected from this one was above average entertainment, but what I got instead were a lot of very annoying teenagers and a few unoriginal murders. PS: After the film made it to Czech cinemas, the horror discussion forums have seen an increasing number of comments from 14 y.o. girls like “Friday the 13th is the best horror ever"... LOL...” 4/10 (17.02.2009)

The fact that Michael Bay, as a producer, is churning out one horror classic after another bothers me the least. What pisses me off the most is that he does so through a director who would not be trusted to film a German laundry detergent commercial. Nispel has absolutely no idea what the term "light" means, that there has to be at least one likable character among the characters, and that even if the clichés of slasher films are long worn out, it's good to respect the atmosphere, the genre rules, and most importantly, to have fun. He can do none of those things. He just routinely throws in one image of flowing blood after another, interspersed with the occasional shot of boobs and momentary flashes of hyperbole and thoughtful wit. I shuddered every time a glance at the clock reminded me of how much time was still left before it was over. But it is true that the kids were definitely huddled together in the movie theater. (06.07.2009)