Transformers

No, no and no. I would love to give it four stars, but I can’t, these big-ass blockbusters are just not my cup of tea. The action scenes are awesome, it’d be hard to find any competition in that regard, but there are other things that I value in movies. Transformers is good stuff to unwind, but it doesn’t offer anything else. The story is predictable and the characters are clichés with an awfully American behaviour. In short, it entertained me but didn’t take my breath away, I don’t need to see it again, nor do I want to. (14.08.2008)

More than meets the eye... Or not? It’s disappointing that after the pleasant although unsuccessful The Island, Bay took a step back into soulless action fun for the masses. It doesn’t thrill me that he has fallen back into his traditional, epileptic fit provoking editing. It outright annoys me that the entire story takes place in the opening crawl... I would have been willing to forgive the creators all of the above if they could grip me. Which Transformers managed to do, but only at isolated moments, definitely not for the entire or at least part of the running time. The first part of the movie, which is carried on the shoulders of the ever more likeable LeBeouf, is outstanding, humorous and very promising. But then the whole picture goes to the dogs in the middle, from the game of hide and seek until the defrosting of Megatron. There is humor elsewhere in this movie, but it doesn’t work in the least; Shia practically disappears from the screen and the robots start playing first fiddle, led by the “philosophizing" Optimus and the wannabe funny roles filled by John Turturro and Jon Voight. Although the last third is one big, continuous action inferno, for my tastes it is just too predictable and primarily it’s over-combined. What unarguably works well is the technical side of the movie. They were evidently working overtime at ILM, Jablonsky composed a punchy and fitting soundtrack, the action is nice and comic-bookish over the top and couple of scenes like the onslaught of the Autobots had me pinned to my seat. What brings Transformers down on the big screen too is its extreme length, the lame pieces of wisdom from Optimus, lots of superfluous robots that have barely two seconds of fame and also that pesky little Decepticon. Transformers certainly don’t disappoint, especially in a well-technically equipped movie theater, but don’t expect wonders. It’s not boring, it’s entertaining, but it doesn’t leave any particular lasting impression. This is the feeblest Bay movie yet. Unfortunately. (13.08.2007)

It’s hard to believe that this monstrosity cost just a laughable 150 million bucks. If that’s true, it means that the producer Spielberg has some extraterrestrial abilities. Transformers is a Hollywood blockbuster worth easily double the price of a cinema ticket... if you know why you are going to a Michael Bay film in which robots from other worlds wage war on Earth. With the exception of the chilling introductory sequences, it’s a bit childish and silly, but the technical side, especially the numerous escalated action scenes, is just nuts. The scene of shooting at a scorpion in the desert (especially shot from the inside of a helicopter) with the musical background in the form of Jablonsky’s “Scorponok” is incredibly cool! And those feline eyes of Megan Fox... omfg!!! (11.07.2007)

The Girl Next Door Sex Bomb versus Armageddon in the cloak of perfect audiovisual and explosively action-packed delicacies. Shia LaBeouf is the perfect non-action guy, with whom every one of us, who has ever been a boy or a girl longing for adventure, can identify. Megan Fox was created as an adored idol (who can also fix your car), Bumblebee is the best friend and the perfect car at the same time, Autobots are a group of heroes and Decepticons are the most villainous enemies, whom you would fight against right away. And Transformers is a movie that may open the eyes of many young wide-eyed boys in front of the screen, teaching them what it means to love a movie. Bay has proven that even megalomania can be moderate and that escalated action that just won't stop doesn't have to be overwhelming, but rather amazing. Tons of lines, a sea of references, setting sun, a flood of orange, heroism, honor, love, helicopters, and behind it all, a smiling Bay who fulfilled his dream. The year 2007 will forever be the year when I wanted Bumblebee in my garage and Megan Fox somewhere nearby, but most of all, watching Transformers over and over again. (29.08.2007)

Michael Bay's own words are that he aims to entertain the audience. In that case, I state that I am not his target group, because I feel more entertained in a dentist's chair. I had the opportunity to watch all three Transformers movies within a few days, and I couldn't finish any of them. This is simply beyond the scope of what I consider digestible cinema. Michael Bay is not so much a representative of a certain genre as he is a diagnosis. Lots of action, bombastic special effects, clumsy dialogues that bring physical suffering, and a script and story on the level of a small child. Unfortunately, I haven't been eight for a long time, and I won't be eighty for a long time, so Bay's offer didn't appeal to me. I considered giving 1 star for the special effects and set design, but I would rather go to a magic show. Overall impression: 10%. My choice for a movie set in the world of children's toys would be any of the Toy Story movies. (25.02.2014)