Malarkey

Finally, once again something I can call a completely crazy film-making trip. And after a long while, something directed by the Finns, who, when they express themselves in a comedy, are simply worth it. Dark humor is intertwined with absurd humor and everything is under the rule of a brutal death pagan folk black metal band from a place near Oulu, which plays as if Odin himself sent them to Earth, but nobody has really heard them play yet. There is a ton of references, some of them are pop culture ones, so you have to know the metal subculture a bit; at least in terms of music choices, which create an absolutely magnificent soundtrack. But there is also a number of scenes that are universal and can entertain even those not fond of metal music. They are just a little bit darker than would be desirable. But what can you do, that’s the Finns for you. When they do something, they do it until they are sweating blood, and either it doesn’t work or it’s brutally entertaining. And here it worked perfectly; an A+ movie.

Not bad at all for a debut. I really enjoyed the scenes in the taxi. They had suspense, great acting and atmosphere. But once the creators jumped out of the cab, it was as if the quality of the film lowered drastically. I literally felt embarrassed when watching one of the scenes from the police station. I don’t know, I am not a filmmaker, but I admit that I can’t understand how a film can at one moment seem like a pro thriller and then you are confronted with a soap-opera-like scene. Well, what can you do? As a whole, Taxi 121 may be inconsistent, but it still intrigued me in many ways. And that’s definitely something when it comes to a debut.

One is bullied, the other one is disabled. Here, the Dutch were doing it a bit pell-mell. And I actually have to say that they were doing great. An exemplary family drama filmed with great care, which builds a good reputation for the Netherlands.

I don’t even know what I was expecting from this one. It was supposed to be a romance and it was a romance. Nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps I was just hoping that if nothing else, the film would offer decent acting. I was especially curious about Matthias Schoenaerts. For me, he is the most significant figure in contemporary European cinema and rightfully so, given the performances he delivers in European films. Only, the film was the kind of European romance which had no interesting elements except for the locations. Everybody is sweeter than honey even though they’re plagued by misery and adversities. An old lady might cry but I didn’t.

Under different circumstances this would be a fairly solid European drama narrated by wacky storytelling. But since the creators gave the final say to two morons, it ended up as one of the dumbest films I’ve seen in quite a while. And it’s not only those two, it’s the whole concept which has no logic behind it, let alone an idea. At first, the girl is quite spontaneous at the disco, but gradually she turns into a thoughtless bimbo, who could really use a trip to the military service of Israel to be taken off her mental high horse. The dude, however, is stupid from the beginning and you don’t even expect anything special from him. I only finished it because I wanted to see where it was going. But you can already guess that since I gave it two stars, it didn’t really get any better.

I understand where the director was going with all of this. Unfortunately, I don’t really get how he filmed it. While  Unbreakable is a fundamental movie of American cinema in my eyes, and Split set out to be the same, Glass connected the stories of all participants in a way that was not only unnecessary but it also spoiled my impression of the two previous films, which ended perfectly… and should have remained that way. But M. Night Shyamalan turned his superheroes into such strange figures that even though I still liked James McAvoy’s unrestrained acting, the movie as a whole made me really unhappy. It felt like a complete mess. But it’s still Shyamalan, so if you can endure the boring madhouse-like middle of the move, the finale can be quite intriguing from a screenwriting perspective. You certainly have to give him that.

A total crazy trip with an absurd kind of humor, which, however, perfectly targets widespread stereotypes of both Danes and Chinese. In addition, the curious humor isn’t based on classic ha-ha scenes but on scenes full of embarrassment and misunderstanding, which you won’t really like for the first 15 minutes, but if you power through, you will definitely enjoy the rest of the film.

Once again, HBO gave us their absolute best and introduced the viewers to an elaborate adaptation of the most significant nuclear catastrophe to ever happen on Earth. And even though they didn’t cover everything they could have in 5 episodes, they covered everything they needed so they could sell the idea and pass something on at the same time – the repulsiveness of the Soviet regime but also the proof that humanity and heroism exist everywhere. The first two episodes were probably the most important for me, the creators shocked me with the exteriors, which gave me the impression that the crew actually left for Pripyat and filmed theseries about the catastrophe there. The finale is very crucial as well; it shows what the Soviet regime was capable of doing to not only ordinary people but also intellectuals. After all of that, I am not at all surprised that Gorbachev said in the 1990s that Chernobyl was the fatal consequence of the fall of the Soviet Union. What they did there only underscores the whole effect of communism in Russia of the period, where the local “elite” thought they could do whatever they wanted and God in turn showed them that it wasn’t entirely true. Thankfully this didn’t mean the demise of all of us, it was “only” a warning concerning what we are doing wrong in the world. The fact that we are unable to learn our lessonis another matter. However, this is one of the reasons why the series is so important, which is why it is good to see, perceive, and experience it until the very end. The absolute best of this year’s series and in terms of the HBO production, it is the best that could have been created. Precise, accurate, and apt.

Do you want to know how the nations on the other side of the hemisphere live and suffer? Watch this very realistic drama, which has great power, mainly because of the sincerity of individual characters but also thanks to the locations, which feel just as exotic as the characters. Unlike us, they still haven’t completely lost faith in the supernatural and can therefore blend in with nature better… just like it was thousands of years ago, at a time when everyone was mentally somehow… different.

Finally, Jean-Claude got it. The Bouncer is actually a pretty solid French drama, which has a great screenplay and stars the excellent Van Damme. Sometimes there’s no need to kick the hell out of everybody and try to turn every scene into an action ride. All you need is a good script, a few action moments, and a twist... and the quality is taken care of. I haven’t enjoyed Van Damme as much as I did in this flick for a long time. I wish it would last. I’d rather watch an authentic European drama than another B rated action movie.