J*A*S*M

The atmosphere is decent, but the years have left their mark, watching this film today was no longer an experience. It’s possible that John Carpenter drew some inspiration for The Thing here, in which case Horror Express deserves our gratitude, but there’s no way I’m giving it more than 3*, it would be unfair to films that scared me more.

Great sci-fi horror and also a brutal spectacle for something form the late 90s. The atmosphere does let down by the end, but never to the point that would affect the overall impression. The premise (a spaceship returns after being lost in the cosmos, bringing something with it) is awesome and I don’t think it could have been developed better. Hands down, Paul Anderson’s best work, even if students of physics would not agree.

The Japanese are perverts, and Takashi Miike most of all, but the hype surrounding this film about its unbearable violence made me expect something a lot worse. It’s true that there are two very intense scenes, but not to the point that I had to look away. That said, someone unprepared could be quite shocked. Yeah, and I’d do away with those dream sequences, they are pointless and annoying, and they are the main reason I’m giving the film only an average rating.

The horror misery of 2008 continues with this film that doesn’t deserve any attention whatsoever. Everything is terrible: the performances, the script and the direction. Not even a couple of cheap and predictable jump-scares can save it.

As an undemanding action movie it’s fine, but enumerating all the holes in logic would need an entire book. I didn’t mind the alternating genres, what was bad was the editing, which made some action scenes utterly incomprehensible. The final car chase was awesome. B-movie fun, no more than that.

I quite like this kind of smart and well acted mysterious films. It’s not pure horror, certainly (even if the scenes in the subway and the mental hospital are quite terrifying), but mostly a drama (which is not included among the genres). Well above-par, but very depressing, you need to be in the right mood for it.

Lately I’ve been ignoring most new Asian horror films, but when I read on IMDb that this one was supposed to be a splatter, I made an exception expecting a breath of fresh air after the other current Asian movies, which are mostly boring ghost stories. The Machine Girl was indeed refreshing, but it’s certainly not a quality piece of work. One hour an a half of watching a silly Japanese gang, bad special effects, a stupid story and unfunny excessive gore is really not for me. One star for those several good bits. But don’t take my opinion as a guide, I don’t like Asian cinema in general and that also goes for (possibly) intentionally bad movies.

If you’re willing to accept that the female lead can communicate with insects that help her go after a dangerous killer, you will have fulfilled the main condition to enjoy this film. Another condition is high tolerance for bad acting (Jennifer and the Professor are OK, the rest are KO) – some of the stuff those actors have to say reaches almost parody levels. The atmosphere is decent overall – the Alps do their job – but it’s such a shame that about half of the potentially scary scenes are ruined by music that is terrible for horror, the choice of which I really can’t understand. The last half hour, when things finally get going a little, improves the otherwise mixed feelings. It’s one of those films that I believe warrants a remake.

The 90s produced lots of dark thrillers and this Spanish representative is a great example of the good ones. It has many very tense scenes, with some of them being almost horror. The direction is nothing great – it’s rather simple formally speaking – what’s above-par is the script, which is quite unpredictable (during the story, pretty much all the characters are suspects) and contributes to the general atmosphere. I wholeheartedly recommend Thesis, it’s not the best ever, but it’s certainly a very good thriller. 85%

Some parts are pretty scary, some parts are tedious, but pretty good fun overall; certainly better than most of today’s long haired ghost stories. Horror for the whole family. 80%