EvilPhoEniX

A simple Russian military shooter in intense 60 minutes based on a video game. The film was made for little money, you can feel the fanboy joy, but it won't blow your mind if you have seen a thing or two. It is about a military unit that encounters enemy factions during a mission in Tarkov and action chaos erupts. The premise itself is cool, but since the shooting starts before the director introduces us to the characters, it doesn't work. You can't root for anyone, everyone has decent equipment, so when someone falls I didn’t know if they part of the good guys or the bad guys. Most of the action takes place in the dark and the guns were obvious airsoft guns (with good sound design but far from realistic). I was a bit distracted by the bad CGI when the grenades exploded (the dust was horrible), and mainly, it's not very gory – there are no bloody headshots or blown off limbs (too bad it could have been a slaughterhouse). It feels like a PG-13 Shooting Game for the simplest of viewers. I like action, but when it's presented this monotonously for an hour it gets a bit boring at times. The ending with the machine gun against the helicopters (that was nice) pulled it off a bit, but it could have been better. I was reminded of The Balkan Line, which coincidentally is also from Russia, but better in every way a class better. I don't have any problem with it, but it's far from a stunner. Story 1/5. Action 3/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 2/5, Fun 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 3/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 2/5. 6/10.

A russian dark whodunit with a touch of Nordic Noir and Korean Thrillers with a serial killer theme. The Execution describes a ten-year manhunt for a notorious Soviet serial killer who successfully escaped from the police. It has everything an excellent crime thriller should have. The film is more than just a serial killer mystery, it's also about the desperation of the entire Soviet Union. The film is told in flashback and is a bit confusing. We have a past and present timelines that are intertwined, but that's something you can get used to because it has a purpose. It has a great atmosphere, it's dark, raw, evil, uncomfortable, hopeless. The murders themselves aren't much for the viewer to enjoy, it's more the shots of the corpses, but harsh interrogation methods are used. The main two detectives are well acted (there is some Mindhunter inspiration here – interrogating other killers to catch a new one), and the plot itself is great, culminating in an final act with a number of surprising and unexpected twists, I really didn't expect such a crazy ending. Despite the longer running time of 140 minutes, I wasn't bored and enjoyed it. Fans of serial killers should look for this, really good stuff. Story 4/5. Action 2/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 3/5, Fun 4/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 5/5, Suspense 4/5, Emotion 3/5, Actors 4/5. 7.5/10.

This period folk-horror film is my biggest viewing ordeal so far this year, the last time I suffered like this was with I'm I'm Thinking of Ending Things. Critics may shit themselves with excitement over this film, but I don't see any wonder or art in it. The film is set in the in a small village in Macedonia, in the 19th century, where a little girl is kidnapped and turned into a witch when she unluckily kills a local of the village she takes his form. So we have another shape-shifter drama (the only horror element the viewer experiences while watching). If you're watching the film for Noomi Rapace, she's there for about 20 minutes tops, so a clear clickbait. The director goes for a very experimental style full of metaphors, existence, meditation, definitely not what I would look for, not only in horror movies but movies in general. Who fuckin’ cares. I didn't find it atmospheric or dark, there’s gore in only two short scenes, nothing really happens for two hours, there’s no intense climax, just a bunch of uninteresting dialogue about what it's like to be human – it makes me want to throw up just writing about it. A parade of everything I hate, loathe and despise in movies. The film is not for mainstream audiences, but neither is it for regular horror fans, just for fans of slow burn arthouse films who will subtly jerk off to it and then philosophize with their peers for two hours about how beautiful, human and thought-provoking it was. One star for the relative amount of nudity and sex, which was the only thing interesting and watchable. If you are into Kaufman, Malick, von Trier, you will be interested. Enjoy. Story 2/5. Action 0/5, Humor 0/5, Violence 1/5, Fun 1/5 Music 2/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 2/5, Suspense 1/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 3/5. 2/10.

Yimou Zhang's best years are behind him, but it's safe to say that his new release, Snipers, is garnering mostly praise abroad. This is the story of a feared Chinese sniper who takes out over 214 American soldiers in 32 days during the Korean War. He and his small unit are tasked with freeing a spy who has been ambushed by American snipers. He soon discovers that everything is a trap and a firefight breaks out on both sides. Story-wise the film doesn't offer much, it's a 90 minute clash of Americans versus Chinese and it's up to you if you enjoy sniper firefights. Snipers is decently shot, fortunately R-rated, and there are some interesting strategic sniper antics, but I prefer more epic battles than these intimate shootouts of a few people stretched out to 90 minutes. I wasn't bored, and although there was some tank and mortar action in the finale, there was just something missing for a higher rating. Story 2/5. Action 3/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 4/5, Fun 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 2/5, Actors 3/5. 6/10.

An unexpected gem and a very nice surprise. The Outfit is a film that came along with happy reviews from critics and audiences alike. I didn't really want to get into it, but I did well to give it a chance, because you hardly see old-fashioned filmmaking of this quality these days. The Outfit is an intimate conversational gangster film set in one place, over one night, with few characters, but it works well. Mark Rylance is absolutely perfect as an elderly gentleman who has life experience to burn, and I was rooting for him tremendously. Zoey Deutch and Dylan O'Brien are also a very good, and the rest of the cast do their thing here. The film has a great script to fall back on with excellent dialogue, wisecracks, quotes and plenty of plot surprises and twists – I wasn’t expecting so many twists. Just when you think it's over, there's another twist and then two more! It doesn't feel overwrought but smart and classy, and manages to play nicely with the viewer throughout – you can't guess how it will all turn out until the last moment. The whole film also has a decent atmosphere and can be uncomfortably suspenseful, and in a few scenes even nicely edgy (tailor's scissors stuck in a throat!). The film could also work as a stage play. I'm absolutely blown away, it's rare that genre films like this grab me by the heart like this, but this is really proper gentlemanly quality. Perfection is a necessary goal precisely because it is unattainable. If you don't strive for perfection, you'll never create anything great, and yet true perfection is impossible. Story 5/5. Action 2/5, Humor 1/5, Violence 3/5, Fun 4/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 4/5, Suspense 4/5, Emotion 3/5, Actors 5/5. 8/10.

The story of a young delinquent bandit in the 90s who goes to the other side of the law to join the mafia. Story-wise, it's cliché, but those who like similar themes won't mind. Visually it's OK, it's not exactly cheap, but you can't see the money either. The characters didn't really grow on me and the pacing is a bit wobbly. On the other hand, when it comes to fights and violence, the film is pretty confident (the fights feel authentic and gritty), and a couple of the more brutal scenes are gripping. The film is also not afraid of nudity and sex (there is surprisingly a lot of it). You could feel that it wants to resemble a Polish or other European movie, but unfortunately Rhino doesn't have that, but for a one time viewing for fans of the genre it certainly doesn't hurt. Story 3/5. Action 3/5, Humour 1/5, Violence 3/5, Fun 3/5 Music 2/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 2/5, Actors 3/5. 6/10.

Phenomenal! The Northman is an instant favourite of mine, the movie of the year, the best Viking movie, and quite possibly the best revenge movie all rolled into one! After the intimate The Witch and The Lighthouse, Robert Eggers delivers his first big-budget film for 90 million USD and it's the very definition of Art meets Spectacle. Eggers is awesome, what he can do with a bigger budget is unreal and I'm very curious to see if he chooses horror next time or tries something else – without a doubt, Wan, Peele, Eggers, and Aster are the new Cronenberg, Carpenter, Raimi, and Craven. The Northman grabbed me by the balls from the first minute and held them for the entire 140 minutes runtime, only letting them go during the closing credits – it's been a long time since I've forgotten to breathe, lost track of time, forgotten my name, and magically transported myself to the absolute unknown of abstraction. A transcendent Viking experience that is second to none. Vikings feels like an appetizer compared to The Northman. The Last Kingdom, which was my previous favourite not only of Vikings but of the historical genre in general, has now been dethroned by The Northman. (The Northman even has a touch of LoTR in certain scenes). The Northman is divided into several chapters where we follow Alexander Skarsgård (in the role of a lifetime!!) as he plots his fateful revenge for the death of his father. Revenge has never tasted sweeter. The acting is without a doubt riveting and Oscar-worthy. The tricky Nicole Kidman is solid, Skarsgård is of course the devil, Anya Taylor-Joy only confirms her position as the best young actress of our time, and Claes Bang is a badass as it should be. The film has breathtaking audiovisuals (Dune comes across as kitsch compared to this), it has a very haunting atmosphere, and, most importantly I believed everything Eggers presented (I believe he studied a lot of material), but filming life in that era so realistically, hats off to him. The magical-witch-mystical rituals with an almost horror touch were downright divine (preparing a son for the position of future king, WOW!), and of course there are Valkyries and the best cinematically depicted entrance to Valhalla! When it came to the action, that's where my jaw dropped (I want to re-watch every single scene). Admittedly, there's no proper epic battle (the Christians are completely ignored) and Skarsgård hunts or less solo in stealth mode, but it's properly raw, brutal, uncompromising and dark to the core. There's quite possibly the best gut out scene ever, and the scene where they build a sort of Viking symbol out of various limbs, heads and bodies, almost had me screaming in the cinema. To my supreme satisfaction, I would of course take another half hour and include maybe the conquest of Paris or Mercia or a naval battle, but that's too much to ask of Eggers. Either way I'm ready to go see the film again and I'm looking forward to a second screening tremendously. Story 4/5. Action 5/5, Humor 1/5, Violence 5/5, Fun 5/5 Music 5/5, Visuals 5/5, Atmosphere 5/5, Suspense 5/5, Emotion 4/5, Actors 5/5. 10/10.

Worst cinema visit of the year so far. This is a huge disappointment. I'm a fan of Harry Potter, and I even of the first two Fantastic Beasts movies (which have been heckled by others), but I absolutely did not enjoy this one. Personally, I'm happy for any major fantasy film with monsters, wizards and spectacular VFX attractions as I love the genre and we don't get that too often. Fantastic Beasts definitely has the potential to fulfill all of that, but rather than a spectacular fantasy flick, I felt like I was watching a spectacular family drama with mild fantasy elements, and I certainly didn't order that. David Yates' whole world is crumbling under his feet and he doesn't really know what he wants to do. It's dull, uninteresting, overlong, overwrought and actually quite annoying. Mikkelsen as a replacement for Depp is sadly unworkable, Jude Law is perhaps the only good character and I was entertained by the mysterious Ezra Miller. The rest of the characters, including the protagonist, are both uninteresting and useless. I enjoyed the few references and the return to Hogwarts, along with the theme song, it did play nostalgically on emotions. There are surprisingly only three action scenes (spectacular, pretty but short, and they are few). 15 minutes of action in a 140 minute blockbuster is really a bad idea. I wish at least the humour worked, but it's childish and the few twists are not really engaging. Personally, I was bored waiting for the ending and I can't imagine a full house of kids being entertained by this film (I guess they won't be too interested in the political election). I found it strange that the main character didn't really show much of anything for the whole film, in fact I thought he was more of a supporting character and that probably wasn't the point. Well it was unsatisfying. Story 3/5. Action 3/5, Humour 1/5, Violence 0/5, Fun 2/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 2/5, Actors 3/5. 4/10.

A charming romantic comedy about an attractive lady who doesn't do well on the dating scene and when it seems she has finally found the right guy and decides to surprise him for Christmas, she is shocked to see someone else (a little Chinese guy :D). Coincidentally, the guy he was pretending to be is his cousin and so he helps the lady conquer her dream love, but you won't find out how it turns out until the movie. It's likeable, with fine characters, occasionally decent humour and a nice flow. A Netflix chill that doesn't offend, but lifts the mood. 6/10.

The horror flop of the year so far. The film raised expectations that it was another variation on Saw and Jumanji, which is a rewarding horror theme that rarely disappoints, but I lost interest somewhere around the 15 minute mark. Netflix is about 50/50 with horror movies so far, but this is one is bad in perhaps every way. On the one hand, I'm glad that even bad movies are coming out, at least people will appreciate more horror movies like The Sadness, X and Eight for Silver, which are undoubtedly this year's hits. Choose or Die is a similar teen offshoot to that horror movie an app (I forget the name) where nothing really works properly, but a certain group of people will satisfied with it and will happily spread it further. The movie focuses a lot on just the two main characters, who aren't very interesting, and the game itself is downright meh and laughable. The quests and the actual nature of the game doesn't make much sense and in a lot of ways it feels unfinished and rushed. The gore is more or less absent, there are about three gory scenes, coincidentally very similar (blood coming out of a mouth), this can only really please the least discerning or those new to the genre today. There is no atmosphere or tension, the jump-scares are very predictable and ineffective. It doesn't build up anywhere and when the horror aspect doesn't work, it's not even funny let alone entertaining, in short a bad in every way. As background noise for cooking or cleaning it probably scores, but for an evening with a partner or alone no chance. Story 2/5. Action 1/5, Humor 1/5, Violence 1/5, Fun 2/5 Music 2/5, Visuals 2/5, Atmosphere 2/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 2/5. 2/10.